The traditional translation of Proverbs 13:24 is, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” This interpretation has been used to support taking a paddle, rod, belt, or ruler to your child when he or she needs to be kept in line. I think the more accurate interpretation is from the shepherd’s perspective as the rod was not a whipping tool but a shepherds standard used to measure the height of a sheep. In this image, we spoil children when we don’t raise a rod of a high standard for them to achieve.
For my son Nathan, the rod has been set by his coaches. Kevin Morriello has worked with Nathan for several years starting when Kevin was in college studying to be a P.E. teacher and coach. Kevin created the Shoten Ninja Academy, or what we called Ninja Training, or simply Ninjas. Though it sounds like a martial arts class, it was class in physical training challenging each student to explore the heights of what he or she can attain physically through games and exercises pushing their own personal limits to a standard higher than they, or their parents, thought them capable of doing toppling their own records and the records of the class participants.
Compared to Nathan, Kevin is a giant of a man. He is huge from Nathan’s perspective, the size of a bear, with a heart as big as one. When Kevin became a coach at Battle Ground Academy, even though Nathan doesn’t attend the school, Kevin let him be a leader with younger children as Kevin’s aid, and he let Nathan be a student training with the high school athletes and sitting on the bench during their matches. Kevin certainly set the bar high as an example for Nathan on so much more than being an athlete, but being a man and a person of character and honor. Even though Nathan’s time of training as a Ninja with Kevin has come to an end, Kevin has set the standard high for Nathan in who he can be and become.
At Nathan’s school, Grassland Middle School, Coach Gil Filbey has the unique distinction of being the only person I know in Nathan’s life who can yell at him like a Marine Sergeant and Nate takes it as a compliment. If I or any other person were to yell at Nate like his wrestling coach, he’d melt, sure he’d done something wrong. I’ve seen Gil bark out at Nate during a match and Nathan turn and simply nod to say, ‘Okay, Coach.’ When Gil shouts out an instruction or a simple, “Come on, Nathan!” my son hears the vision and belief Gil has of Nate’s potential to do and be better. At the beginning of Nate’s first wrestling season last year I heard one of the most challenging lines for both parent and son, “We believe your child can grow up to be president or anything else they want to be. But we also assure you that if he wants to be a wrestler, it won’t just take growing up, but a lot of work.” At the end of the season, Coach Gil disclosed the secret goal of the wrestling program, to help the boys to grow up into men of character. Though the wrestling season is far too short for all Nathan receives from being a member of Gil’s team, the benefit is one he will carry with him as he the rest of our family joins me in Orlando in December.
Years ago, Charles Horton Cooley defined the Psychology of The Looking Glass Self, that our self-image and sense of personal worth comes from what we believe the important people in our lives believe about us. They serve as our mirrors. In 1 Samuel 16, Samuel the Priest of Israel went out to the farm of a man named Jesse. Jesse’s youngest son was the runt of the litter, but Samuel saw the boy David through God’s eyes. God had set high the rod, and Samuel anointed the boy giving the message, “You’ll do great things.” David went onto face giants and become one of the most famous leaders in the Bible turning to God through triumph and tragedy. I give thanks for Kevin, Gil, and those who did for them what they are doing for my son, anointing him as Samuel anointed David, seeing him through God’s eyes, raising high the bar for who he can be and become.
When you count your many blessings and name them one by one, give thanks for those who have not spared the rod but raised it high in your life and the lives of other people important to you as Nathan is to me.
