Well the South side of Chicago
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Leroy Brown…
… bad, bad Leroy Brown
Jim Croce
The Problem
There was a time in my life when life was simple, when my world was very clear, morality was never confusing, and a good day’s work proved a good day’s reward. As a child, good and bad were not mysterious because my mother and father were near and ever-ready, ever-present, ever-prepared to tell me what was good and what was bad.
Good things were: eating my vegetables, doing my homework, reading a book instead of watching television, saying, “Yes ma’am,” “Yes sir,” “Please,” and “Thank you,”bringing home E’s on my report card (for Excellent, not the grade below D), making my bed and cleaning my room (or at least putting my dirty clothes away), taking my dishes to the sink and saying, “Thank you for dinner,” (regardless of whether or not I was thankful). All these were good things.
Bad things were also very clear: yelling at my sister, talking back to my parents (saying “But…,” “Why..,” or “No..,” instead of “Yes ma’am,” or “Yes sir,”) saying dirty words, saying, “Yuck,” at dinner, hiding my brussel sprouts in my napkin, and the worst bad of all, according to my mother and sisters, was not lifting the lid, or if I did bother to lift the lid, not putting it back down when I was finished. (I didn’t think it was my fault if none of the women in my house looked first before they went to the bathroom at night.)
As a child, good and bad were quite clear, and so were the results.
My parents taught me, “In life, do good things, and you’ll be rewarded.” For example, “Study hard, you’ll get good grades. Practice hard, you’ll win the game. And work hard and you’ll get paid.” My parents also told me, “Do bad things, you’ll be punished, and what’s more, you’ll find only trouble, and life won’t go well for you.” For example, “Don’t study, you’ll flunk. Don’t practice, you won’t win the game. And don’t work hard, and you’ll be poor.”
My parents not only taught me, they showed me. They rewarded me when I did well. They gave me praise, allowance, or privileges for jobs well done. They even judged me in a positive light. They told their friends, “He’s such a good boy. He never causes any trouble.”
They also punished me when I broke the rules. I was sent to my room. I got a spanking. (That was before anyone told parents that spanking was bad.) In our house, bad words were considered dirty, and mom’s punishment was literally washing out our mouths with soap. You had to stick your tongue out and she rubbed soap over it. She did this for my own good, to teach me that bad words and bad actions lead to punishment. I was also judged in a negative light, “Why are you so bad?”
Mom and Dad had help from the church. At church, God was on the side of parents. I was taught that even if mom or dad can’t see you, God can see you. I learned that Jesus watched me and didn’t like it when I did bad. The second verse of Jesus Loves Me reminded me, “Jesus loves me when I’m bad, though it makes him very sad. Jesus loves me when I’m good, when I do the things I should.” Though Jesus loves me when good or bad, according to the song, clearly bad made him sad. I was also told that, God, on the other hand, didn’t get sad when we were bad, but instead God got mad. Promises of punishment, now or eternal, constantly loomed over me.
Though it may sound rough, actually it wasn’t. It was in many ways wonderful, a simpler world of mom, dad, church, and apple pie, a world where what was good and what was bad was very clear, a world where consequences made sense, a world where you do good and you are rewarded, a world where you do bad and are punished, a world where God was on the side of parents and the police. A simpler time…
Then I grew up. The problem I uncovered was that the world described to me by my mom, dad, and the church wasn’t always the world I experienced.
Once in a while during my teenage years, I saw bad choices result in bad consequences. A friend did drugs and was arrested. That made sense. But then there was a girl I was infatuated with who got cancer. She was, as far as all could tell, a good girl, but something bad happened. I asked, “Why her? What did she do?” No one could explain it to me.
In college, I volunteered at a local children’s home. Many of the children had been physically and sexually abused. What did they do? They were, after all, only children.
Then I read the gospels as an adult. Though the church I grew up in had lucid definitions for good and bad people and behaviors, I saw a lack of clarity in Jesus.
Luke 15:1Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
Labeling others, especially in terms of good and bad, was the pattern of the religious institutions and leaders of Jesus’ day but not Jesus. Jesus refused and refuted labels of good or bad for others, and for himself.
Mark 10: 17 …a man ran up and knelt before (Jesus), and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.
Jesus rejected the label of good for himself and said not to apply good to anyone but God. In this encounter, Jesus seems to doubt whether the man (and also us) would recognize good if we saw it.
As I read the gospels, Jesus didn’t label people good or bad. The only label Jesus seems to have had for people is the label God had for him at his baptism, beloved.
Consider the difference between how Jesus treated Thomas in the following passage and how we’ve treated him ever since.
The Text
John 20: 19 When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” 22 When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
24 But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
26 A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” 28 Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
I feel sorry for Thomas. One bad day and two thousand years later, he’s still paying for it. Thomas doubted (bad), and so Thomas was a bad person, a doubter. Thomas did bad and was bad. So, we tell our children, “Don’t be like Thomas. Don’t be a doubting Thomas.” In our limited view, we condemn, label, and punish, and for many, like Thomas, our punishment shows no possibility of parole.
Yet, Jesus seems to have known something more. Jesus seems to have understood something different, something beyond good and bad, another view, another perspective which allowed him to give people like Thomas, people like us, grace, mercy, and hope. We need such a vision, such a word, a magic word… Sometimes
The Text Revisited
Consider how the disciples, and we, might have treated Thomas if we had known the word sometimes…
John 20: 25… So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But (Thomas) said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
They replied, “That’s okay Thomas, sometimes bad is a pathway to good, sometimes doubt is the pathway to faith.”
And ever since, parents and Sunday School teachers have taught children the story of Thomas saying, “Be like Thomas for his doubt was a pathway to faith.”
Transformation
When I was growing up, as I said, good and bad were very clear. They were opposites. Good was the opposite of bad. Bad was the opposite of good. That’s still often true. But sometimes, bad isn’t the opposite of good. Sometimes bad is the pathway to good.
We’ve always labeled Thomas as bad, doubt as bad, doubt as the opposite of faith. Sometimes that is true… What Jesus understood about Thomas, about the disciples, and about us is that sometimes bad isn’t the opposite of good, but the pathway to good.
In Thomas’ case,doubt wasn’t the opposite of faith, but the road to faith. Jesus helped him along the way. Jesus understood, sometimes doubt isn’t the opposite of faith, sometimes doubt is the road to faith. I have many people in my congregation who have come through doubts to get to faith. I find that doubting is often quite helpful.
When I graduated from seminary, I was looking for a youth ministry position. While interviewing with a church in Atlanta, I was asked, “We have a youth in our church who is struggling with doubt. How do you feel about doubting?”
I replied, “I think doubting is wonderful. I don’t think doubt is the opposite of faith. I think apathy is the opposite of faith. I find that doubt can be a great pathway to a mature faith.”
Have you ever been in a job interview when, after the answer of a single question, you knew the interview was over? I have. Several times. That was one of them.
I stick by my answer. I think that sometimes doubt can be a pathway to faith.
I also find that sometimes shows up in the journeys of many people in our congregation.
Sometimes…
Sometimes doubt is the opposite of faith, but sometimes doubt can be a pathway to faith.
Sometimes weakness is the opposite of strength, but sometimes weakness can be the pathway to strength.
Sometimes addiction is the opposite of sobriety, but sometimes addiction can be the pathway to sobriety.
Sometimes infidelity is the opposite of fidelity, but sometimes infidelity can be a pathway to fidelity.
Sometimes failure is the opposite of success, but sometimes failure can be the pathway to success.
People are often paradoxical, like in this philosophical puzzle:
There once was a man who tried to fail and did. So, did he succeed or fail?
Obviously, there is no ‘right’ answer to this question for if he’s trying to fail and succeeds then he didn’t truly fail. In the same way, when trying to sort through a behavior and label it good or bad, the answer is impossible without knowing the outcome because sometimes bad is a pathway to good. And what is even more, for some of us, often the darker road is the only road. For some of us, doubt is the only pathway to faith, weakness the only path to strength, addiction the only path to sobriety, infidelity the only path to fidelity, and failure the only path to success.
For some of us, the dark path home is the only way we can find. For some of us, there is no other way. History agrees. Consider the following people, all people we would consider great, who in their own way understood that failure is not only a pathway to success, but many times the only pathway to success.
Abraham Lincoln had a stream of failures. He started a business in 1831 and failed. He ran for legislature in 1832 and lost. He started another business in 1836 and failed. He ran for elector in 1840 and lost. He ran for Congress in 1843 and 1848 and lost. He ran for the Senate in 1855 and lost. He then lost in a run for the Vice Presidency in 1856 and then again for the Senate in 1858. You wonder why the fellow got out of bed after all those losses. Yet, even after all that defeat, he succeeded in winning the presidency, emancipating slaves, and reuniting the nation symbolized today by our language. Before Lincoln we said, “The United States are…” but after Lincoln, we say, “The United States is…,” one nation, singular. Regarding failure, Lincoln said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”
Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.” As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison refused to hear of it. He didn’t consider those attempts as failure at all. Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” Concerning his other inventions and their steps, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded. Regarding failure Ford said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff. “You may not realize it when it happens,” Disney said later, “but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Winston Churchill failed sixth grade. He was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62. Regarding failure, he said, “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never, never, never, never give up.”
Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was seven. His parents thought he was “sub-normal,” and one of his teachers described him as “mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math. Regarding failure, Einstein said, “It’s not that I am so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
Carlton Fisk, former catcher who played for both the Boston Red Sox and Chicago White Sox summed up the attitude of all the leaders and visionaries I just mentioned, “It’s not what you achieve. It’s what you overcome. That’s what defines you career.” And your life.
Sometimes failure is the opposite of success, but for all these people mentioned above, people who changed the world, for them failure was simply part of their journey toward success. So it was with Thomas, doubt was the necessary pathway he needed to faith.
When Thomas touched Jesus and believed… Jesus responded, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Jesus seems to be speaking to more than Thomas, to others in the future, to us, who would one day read, “Blessed are you when you have not seen yet believed.” This is a blessing for all of us on our different paths because Jesus understood sometimes. Jesus’ vision was important two thousand years ago and is important today, for Thomas and those of us like him who need the darker path toward home.
My hope is that the church will pick up Jesus’ blessing and offer it with the same compassion.
Blessed are you when you don’t have to go through doubt to faith, but if you do, then welcome home. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get here…
Blessed are you when you don’t have to go through skepticism in order to have some sense of certainty in your life, but if you do, then welcome home. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get here…
Blessed are you when you don’t have to go through depression in order to have peace in your life, but if you do, then welcome home. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get here…
Blessed are you when you don’t have to go through infidelity to find fidelity, but if you do, then welcome home. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get here…
Blessed are you when you don’t have to go through gluttony to have contentment, but if you do, then welcome home. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get here…
Blessed are you when you don’t have to go through alcoholism or drug addition to find sobriety in your life, but if you do, then welcome home. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get here…
Sometimes, we all need blessings, we all need the grace to find our way.
How do you need the grace of sometimes?
Is there someone you’ve been treating as a Doubting Thomas who needs grace from you today? Why not give it?
Conclusion
Do you believe in magic?
The Lovin’ Spoonful
Three umpires were asked, “How do you call balls and strikes?”
The first said, “I call them as I see them.”
The second said, “I call them as they are.”
But the third said, “They are as I call them.”
In your life, you are the third umpire. Your life is as you call it.
If you say, “More!”then you’ll constantly be on the search for the next thing, chasing a hunger which grows the more it feeds, providing a continuous, relentless, eternal dissatisfaction. And if you say, “If only…,”or look for something elseconstantly, then your life is already lessened, and you’ll continue to be disgruntled, wanting the world to change for your pleasure or comfort.
However, if you claim your power, owning the reality that your life is as you call it, if you say definitively, “Enough,” then contentment and joy are not far away. If you can add to enough and say, “Ahhh…,” then you will enjoy each moment for what it is, not looking to the next, but living the present as a gift, a wonderful, delightful, magical gift.
If you label life, experiences, and people as only good or bad, then you will find life one frustration after another and be only disappointed in yourself, in others, and in God.
However, if you can see potential in yourself and others knowing that sometimes doubt can be a pathway to faith, sometimes weakness can be the pathway to strength, sometimes addiction can be the pathway to sobriety, sometimes infidelity can be a pathway to fidelity, and sometimes failure can be the pathway to success, then your life will always be open to new possibilities, and you will look at yourself and others with hope.
If you can refrain from saying, “No!” to the painful parts of your life, but instead face your potentially overwhelming challenges, finding strength from deep inside your soul, and muster an accepting, “Okay,” then your life will be open to the miraculous joys and new life God can bring from even the worst injustice, tragedy, and loss.
If you can take a step further, letting go of good and bad, trusting that only God knows what is ultimately good and bad in the world and in your life, and open yourself to each moment as something that may be one of the best things that has happened to you and for you, through you and for others, then you will expect any moment to be potentially life giving, and even death itself will be seen with hopeful expectation.
And finally, if you can claim all these words: enough, ahhh, okay, maybe, and sometimes, then you will find that you and your experience of the world will be transformed.
You are the third umpire. The world is waiting for you to speak, to call it, to see it as you say.
So, wait no more. Move forward in your life. Wave your hand at the doors in front of you and say, “Open sesame.”
David Jones is a Presbyterian Pastor
and author of the following books:
Out of the Crowd
The Psychology of Jesus:
Practical Help for Living in Relationship
The Enlightenment of Jesus:
Practical Steps to Life Awake
Enough!
And Other Magic Words to Transform Your Life
Moses and Mickey Mouse:
How to Find Holy Ground in the
Magic Kingdom and Other
Unusual Places
For the Love of Sophia
Wisdom Stories from Around the World
And Across the Ages
Prayer Primer
Going Nuts! (Fiction)
For more information on these books,
go to: www.davidjonespub.com
See all of the author’s books on Amazon at this link: http://amazon.com/author/dwjones