Introduction
“Watch this,” I said to my son, Nathan.
I let go of his hand, waved my arms, and spoke again, “Open sesame.”
The doors parted in front of us like the Red Sea before Moses.
“Cool,” said Nathan.
Together we walked, father and son, through the doors and into Target. I was walking tall, confident my four year old son thought me a powerful man, a man above other men, a dad above other dads.
In the check-out line, I pulled coin after coin from his ears and then made them disappear.
At the mall, I raised my arms on a staircase, whispered, “Up,” and mysteriously the steps escalated us from the first floor to the second.
On the way home, I wiggled my fingers and whispered, “Change,” as the traffic light in front of us transformed from red to green.
“Cool, Dad,” Nathan said again.
Yes, my son knew me to be a powerful man, and I loved it.
I have often imagined myself as Merlin, Gandalf, or Dumbledore, and acted out the role, though I must admit most of my attempts at prestidigitation have left audiences over the age of four unimpressed. Even now, at age eight, Nathan finds my attempts at magic only slightly intriguing.
Throughout my life, my efforts to enthrall have brought more amusement than amazement.
At age eight, I was given The Magic Hat for Christmas. Apparently Santa shopped on television because I had seen a commercial for the hat, Brought to you by Ronco, makers of the Ginsu Knife andThe Miracle Wrinkle Erase Cream.
The Magic Hat wasn’t like those felt toppers. Hard plastic, it actually hurt a little when you put it on your head. The discomfort did have a pay off for The Magic Hat had lots of compartments; the largest was a secret door in the bottom where the rabbit imprinted bandanna lived ready to be pulled out to dazzle any audience. My favorite compartment was the small reservoir beneath the rabbit’s home, accessed by a slot in the side. With the hat tilted just right, a small dixie-cup sized pitcher of water could be poured into the hat, and then disappear, safely stored for you to put the hat on your head and astound your audience, just like on the commercial.
As has been my general philosophy much of my life, if a little is good then a lot is great, so I didn’t use the tiny pitcher, instead, I used a half gallon jug. In front of grandmother, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, brother and sisters, I poured the water in, and then peered down to see, instead of a dry bottom, a sizeable pond in the bottom of the hat.
I had a tough choice. I could have said, “Oops it didn’t work,” but in typical style, I went for the comic relief. I put it on my head, and as water poured like Niagara, I said, “Ta-dah.”
Even though the magic hat was a magic flop, I didn’t stop imagining myself a wizard and dreaming of magical powers.
Through both research and experience, I have discovered that there is pragmatic, practical, applicable magic. No order from Ronco needed, no expensive equipment necessary, just a beginners knowledge of magic words. Yes, magic words do exist, powerful, transforming, magic words.
These words can do more than pull a rabbit (bandanna or furry) from a hat. These words can do more than make an assistant disappear or reappear. These words can erase mistakes, open doors, bring opportunities, form futures, shape new realities, and create life where there was little or no life before. .
Sound absurd?
Before you close this book for another, before you cast aside these pages for a remote control, let me share with you how I’ve seen magic words change lives.
In August of 1988, I, on bended knee, asked Carrie Jo Richards if she would marry me. With a single word, a simple but powerful yes, both of our lives changed. Yes was definitely a transforming magic word for us.
Just under a year later, in front of a congregation on the coast of South Carolina, and in front of her father, a preacher, we said, I do. With these two words we changed from single individuals into a couple, a family, two people but one life before us was what her father said. Though we may not have looked different at that moment, God, her father, the church, and the United States of America said that we were, “husband and wife,” allfrom two magic words, I do.
I have seen magic words change the lives of others in a courtroom. “Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?” the judge asked. “We have your honor,” replied the foreman. “What say you?” asked the judge. “We find the defendant not guilty,” and an imprisoned teen goes free because the foreman said two magical words, Not guilty.
Two hundred plus years ago, the Continental Congress ratified these powerful magic words, We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal… With those words, and the ones that followed, a nation was formed, a new reality spoken, written, willed into existence, a country was shaped from powerful words, a country which has survived challenge upon challenge, from beyond and from within, for over two centuries. On July 4th, 1776, the representatives of thirteen colonies signed their names to these words, and their lives, your life, and the world was changed.
In this book are more magic words, simple words with great power, words you’ve heard before, but not until now discovered their might; words which by saying them, you can change your life for the better, transforming your life from dry desert to Eden-like garden, all because you say so.
Each chapter will follow a simple pattern, a pattern followed by every magician in a show:
The problem: In a magic show, before any magic words can be said, before any wand can be waved, there must be a clear and evident problem: an empty hat, a torn paper, a hidden card, an assistant sawn in two, a woman vanished, a wizard chained. The act begins with a problem. The magic makes little sense without the problem.
The magic words: “Abbra Cadabra,” “Hocus Pocus,” or some other phrase is often said in a magic show. Tricks are usually performed with a word or command, or perhaps there is a nonverbal visual with a wave of wand or hand. Though magicians and wizards don’t always use words, they almost always without fail have some show of magic directed at the presented problem.
And finally, there is the transformation: Magic results in something unexpected, something new: an empty hat is full of rabbit, a torn newspaper is restored, a woman vanished is returned, or an incarcerated wizard is liberated. There is always a dramatic change as a result of the magic.
In each chapter that follows, I’ll use these three simple steps showing our problem, simple magic words, and how the words can result in your transformation.
Still skeptical? Read on. But first, say it with me, Open sesame…
Chapter One
I can’t get no satisfaction.
Mick Jagger
The Problem
I like stuff.
When we moved in our current home, with more stuff than we could fit into the house, a lot of it went to the attic. At the time I told my wife Carrie, “If we don’t use this stuff in the first year, let’s get rid of it.” She agreed. That was ten years ago. It’s still there, plus a lot more, with added floor space. We have a hard time getting rid of our stuff. Our neighbors aren’t much different. Drive around our subdivision and you’ll see cars in driveways because garages are all full of stuff.
My neighbors and I are not alone in our acquisition and collection of stuff, our hoarding is no neighborhood peculiarity. According to George Carlin, it’s our national pastime…
…that’s what this country is all about. Tryin’ to get more stuff. Stuff you don’t want, stuff you don’t need, stuff that’s poorly made, stuff that’s overpriced. Even stuff you can’t afford! Gotta keep on gettin’ more stuff. Otherwise someone else might wind up with more stuff. Can’t let that happen. Gotta have the most stuff…
So now you got a houseful of stuff. And, even though you might like your house, you gotta move. Gotta get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff! And that means you gotta move all your stuff. Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage. Storage! Imagine that. There’s a whole industry based on keepin’ an eye on other people’s stuff.
Or maybe you could sell some of your stuff. Have a yard sale, have a garage sale! Some people drive around all weekend just lookin’ for garage sales. They don’t have enough of their own stuff, they wanna buy other people’s stuff.[1]
Carlin is right. We love stuff. When we want more stuff, we go looking for it, searching for it, shopping. Apparently it’s part of our nature.
Read the following from the Bible’s first book, the book of Genesis, third chapter, the story of Adam and Eve. Notice how their story is not just the tale of two people long ago but a chronicle of our lives today with insight as timely as George Carlin’s commentary.
The Text
Genesis 3: 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate.
Have you ever considered what Adam and Eve were doing when they got into so much trouble? As I read the story, they were shopping. The forbidden fruit was not scattered throughout the garden, not in many places, not in multiple locations, but one place, one site, one location and one location only. Perhaps they just came upon it, “Oh, look, the forbidden fruit…” or, perhaps, they were looking for something, searching, shopping. Somewhere in their dissatisfaction they thought, “If only we had something more…”
Today, if we want more, we don’t have to wander through a garden, we can go wander through a mall. The mall is a relatively new innovation. Historically, the order went like this: you had a need; you figured out what you wanted to meet the need; you figured out how to pay for it; then you shopped for the right one; and then, and only then, you bought it. Not any more, not with malls and credit cards, for malls aren’t about shopping for what you need, malls exist to help you find what you want regardless of need. Now the order is: shop, figure out what you want that you didn’t know you wanted before, charge it, get it, and later, figure out how to pay for it. Because shopping isn’t about need and instead is about some amorphous unperceived want, some undefined emptiness, if what we buy now doesn’t fill it, if what we buy gives us no lasting satisfaction, we buy something else. And now it’s even simpler, instead of going to the mall, you don’t even have to leave your home to search for what you must have that you didn’t even know you wanted – you can search online.
William Sloan Coffin described our problem this way,
There are people and things in this world, and people are to be loved and things are to be used. And it is increasingly important that we love people and use things, for there is so much in our gadget minded, consumer-oriented society that is encouraging us to love things and use people.
As I read and re-read the story of Adam and Eve, I want to scream out, “You’re in Eden! Leave the damned apple alone. Don’t you have enough? Why do you want more?” Yet, every time I read it, they don’t seem to hear me. They chase their more, their must-have, their desire above other desires, the want they perceive as need, and then all hell breaks loose. For whatever reason, whatever dissatisfaction they perceived, they had to have more. Once they saw the fruit, once it appeared good to them and was a delight to their eyes, they were sure that life with the forbidden fruit was going to be better than life without it, and life without it less than life with it.
Their problems came, simply because they knew more and only more. What they needed was another word, a magic word… ENOUGH
The Text Revisited
What if Adam and Eve had known the simple word enough and used it at the base of the tree of trouble? Their story would have been much different, much simpler, less painful, something like this… (I’ve left the original passage from Genesis in italics.)
Genesis 3: the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise… but then she said to herself, “What are you thinking? You live in a beautiful garden. This is paradise. You have everything you need to be happy right here. You have enough.”
She talked with Adam. They contemplated what they needed and what they had. Adam affirmed, “Yes, we have enough.”
They said it together, “Yes, we have enough.”
And then the two of them walked away, happy together.
The Transformation
If Adam and Eve had known enough, and used it, their lives, their situation, and their relationships all would have been better. But they didn’t. However, just because they didn’t know enough, doesn’t mean that you can’t. The magic of enough is easily accessible. This I know, for I know people who use enough often to transform their lives and the lives of their families. For example, my friend Jimmie Manning…
Jimmie has ENOUGH as a customized license plate. He was asked, “Jimmie, would you still have that license plate if someone gave you a new Mercedes?” “Nope,” he replied, “then I’d get a plate that says, More than Enough.”
Jimmie had the plate made after reading Life is So Good!, the biography of George Dawson, a man who signed his name with an X until age 98. At 98 George learned to read and write.
George’s biographer asked him, “George, when you think of life, do you see the glass as half full or half empty?”
“I don’t see it as half full or half empty,” George replied.
“Then how do you see it?” the biographer asked.
“It is enough,” George replied. “Enough.”
Jimmie loves the book and the philosophy. Jimmie figures if George Dawson, a man who grew up black in one of the toughest times in a country’s history for a minority, and a man who was illiterate until 98 could look at life and say, “It is enough.” If this man could see life as neither half full or half empty, if he could look at life and claim enough, then so could he.
For my friend Jimmie, enough hasn’t just been an attitude, but a lifestyle – and a diet plan. Jimmie travels a lot for work, so he eats out a lot. Eating out usually means an easy road to gaining weight. Jimmie used the power of enough to limit what he ate. Instead of eating what he could, or what would make him feel good, he just ate what he needed at each meal. The Enough Diet Plan took forty-two pounds off Jimmie even while he was still traveling. Enough changed Jimmie’s life. It can change yours.
Consider the king in this next story adapted from Heather Forrest’s collection Wisdom Tales…
Once there was a prince who was so sad, his eyes seemed full of sadness and tears. The king was concerned about his son. He got cooks to prepare the best dishes, toymakers to make the best toys, and teachers to share their most stimulating ideas, but to no avail. No gift or treasure could free the prince from his sadness.
The king called his advisors who offered this solution, “For the prince to be happy, you must dress him in the shirt of a truly happy man. Then he will be cured of all his sorrow.”
So the king set out on a journey to find a truly happy man.
He went through the village to the church. The priest always seemed to him to be a happy man. “Your, majesty,” the priest said, “to what do I owe this honor?”
The king said, “You are known as a good and holy man. I would like to know, would you accept the position of bishop should it come to you?”
“Certainly,” replied the priest.
“Never mind,” the king said and left disappointed. If the priest were truly happy, he wouldn’t want to be bishop.
The king went to another kingdom and visited another monarch. “My friend,” asked the king, “are you happy?”
“Most of the time, but not always, there are many nights I am restless because I am worry about losing all that I have worked so hard to gain.”
The king left for he knew that this man’s shirt would not do.
On his way back to his own kingdom, he happened to be riding by a farm. He heard singing. He stopped his carriage and followed the sound of the song. There he found a poor farmer, singing at the top of his lungs. The farmer looked up to see the king approaching and said, “Good day, sir!”
“Good day to you,” said the king. “You seem so happy today.”
“I am happy every day for I am blessed with a wonderful life.”
The king said, “Come with me to the castle. You will be surrounded with luxury and never want for anything again.”
“Thank you your majesty, but I would not give up my life for all the castles in the world.”
The king could not contain his joy. “My son is saved! All I need do is take this man’s shirt back to the castle with me!”
It was then the king looked and realized… the man wasn’t wearing a shirt.[2]
The king wanted to be happy, and he wanted his son to be happy. Though he searched far and wide, he couldn’t find any thing or person that could transform his son from despair to delight, or give peace to his own anxiety. Though sent in search of a shirt, he discovered a secret. Neither he nor his son needed the shirt of a truly happy man. They didn’t need a shirt at all. The power wasn’t outside the castle or within its walls. The power was, however, in his son and in him. They each had the power to create their own kingdoms of their lives. Power so simple anyone can learn.
Kevin Salwen picked up his fourteen year old daughter, Hannah, from a slumber party and was driving her home. At a red light, Hannah looked out their windows and saw a homeless man on the sidewalk holding up a sign asking for money to buy food. On the other side of the car, in the lane next to them, Hannah saw a black Mercedes.
She looked from the Mercedes, back to the homeless man, and from the homeless man back again to the Mercedes. Then she said to her father, “If that guy didn’t have such a nice car, then that guy could have a nice meal.”
It made sense to her. A less expensive car for one man could keep another off the street. Hannah was moved. She challenged her family.
“What do you want to do?” asked Hannah’s mother. “Sell our house?”
Her mother was joking. Hannah wasn’t. Hannah thought selling the house was a great idea. They could trade their house in for a less expensive one, half the size and half the expense, and donate the difference to charity. And that’s what they did.
They contributed half the sale of their house to a non-profit called The Hunger Project where the money has gone to impact the lives of thousands in a positive way.
Hannah and her father teamed up to write a book about the project, The Power of Half. Hannah told The New York Times, “No one expects anyone to sell a house. That’s kind of a ridiculous thing to do. For us, the house was just something we could live without. It was too big for us. Everyone has too much of something, whether it’s time, talent or treasure. Everyone does have their own half; you just have to find it.”
Though some accuse the Salwens of grandstanding, Kevin told The Times, “This is the most self-interested thing we have ever done. I’m thrilled that we can help others. I’m blown away by how much it has helped us.”
Their charity benefited their family; they gave away wealth and found health; they found addition through subtraction; through the loss of some of their stuff, they gained additional peace of mind; for them, for all of us, that is enough.
In your life, like theirs, where do you need to let go of some of your wealth to find health, where have you been caught up in more, more and need the power of enough?
A simple word.
A powerful word.
Enough.
Say it now.
Enough.
Say it daily.
Enough.
[1] George Carlin, Brain Droppings, p. 38
[2] Heather Forest, Wisdom Tales, p.117.