David W. Jones

A friend asked me if this week if I believe that “Jesus is the way…” from John 14. I replied as I usually do, “Sure.” It’s an easy question. As a pastor, a professional Christian, I placed my bet a long time ago.
Even for amateur Christians, it’s still an easy question. All it asks of us is, “What do you think about Jesus?” or perhaps this year, “Who are you voting for Messiah?” In this simple do or don’t decision, the implication is that you pick Jesus in opposition to anyone else who might be, “The Way.” Jesus vs. Muhammad would be the latest prize fight with Jesus followers doing all the fighting. Imagine Jesus vs. Ali? He wouldn’t stand a chance, turning the other cheek… He’d get hammered. Good thing the faithful step in defending Jesus in a life or death fashion. That seems to be our way.
“Is Jesus The Way or is it Buddha? Muhammad? Confucius?” Through the years, as a pastor, I’ve seen some terrible behaviors from the true believers who could have voted any of the above. “Is Jesus the way?” no longer seems to challenge or transform us. It only seems to divide us, requiring us to vote for Jesus but then, apparently, giving us the liberty to do as we please, especially if we do so in Jesus’ name.
What does challenge me is when I turn the question around and then read the gospels. Then I don’t just ask about Jesus being “The Way,” but wonder, “What was Jesus way?” And if I dare apply it, I ask, “What would my life look like if I lived Jesus’ way?” That’s a much more problematic question. It requires me to do more than think, I have to consider, and ultimately, I have to choose. It takes me from, “What would Jesus do?” to “What would Jesus have me do?” or “What would I do if I was a follower of Jesus’ way into the world?” After all, if Jesus is the way, shouldn’t his way be my way?
Jesus’ way is different than the other ways, and I don’t mean in the traditional religious sense. We just don’t seem to notice. When a pharmaceutical company raises the prices on Epipens to an astronomical level, there should be no surprise. That’s what corporations do. It is their way. That’s how a corporation maximizes profit. Supply and demand determine the price. When politicians support their candidate justifying his or her actions, it is what politicians do. It is their way. Win at all costs. No matter what it takes. Integrity is sacrificed in the name of the greater good. The ends (all the good we will do) will justify the means (whatever it took to win). The writer of the book of Judges in the Bible twice critiques the people of that era, “everyone did that which was right in his or her own eyes.” (Judges 17:6, 21:25). Apparently they were even worse than Machiavelli who supposedly is the first to say, “The ends justify the means.” For them, they didn’t even care about the end result, each just did as he or she pleased.
For Jesus, the ends never justified the means, no matter how good the goal. For Jesus, the means were the end. That was and is his way. You love because you love, it’s your way, even if it gets you crucified. You don’t judge, condemn, or treat others with contempt, apparently even in the midst of a crucifixion, because that’s not your way. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. pointed out that for followers of Jesus, his way is our way, and that means, the ends never justify the means but the means are our ends, our goal, our way in the world. He preached,

One of the great philosophical debates of history has been over the whole question of means and ends. And there have always been those who argued that the end justifies the means, that the means really aren’t important. The important thing is to get to the end, you see.
So, if you’re seeking to develop a just society, they say, the important thing is to get there, and the means are really unimportant; any means will do so long as they get you there? they may be violent, they may be untruthful means; they may even be unjust means to a just end. There have been those who have argued this throughout history. But we will never have peace in the world until men everywhere recognize that ends are not cut off from means, because the means represent the ideal in the making, and the end in process, and ultimately you can’t reach good ends through evil means, because the means represent the seed and the end represents the tree.
It’s one of the strangest things that all the great military geniuses of the world have talked about peace. The conquerors of old who came killing in pursuit of peace, Alexander, Julius Caesar, Charlemagne, and Napoleon, were akin in seeking a peaceful world order. If you will read Mein Kampf closely enough, you will discover that Hitler contended that everything he did in Germany was for peace. And the leaders of the world today talk eloquently about peace. Every time we drop our bombs in North Vietnam, President Johnson talks eloquently about peace. What is the problem? They are talking about peace as a distant goal, as an end we seek, but one day we must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal we seek, but that it is a means by which we arrive at that goal. We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means. All of this is saying that, in the final analysis, means and ends must cohere because the end is preexistent in the means, and ultimately destructive means cannot bring about constructive ends.
Now let me say that the next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. Every man is somebody because he is a child of God. And so when we say “Thou shalt not kill,” we’re really saying that human life is too sacred to be taken on the battlefields of the world. Man is more than a tiny vagary of whirling electrons or a wisp of smoke from a limitless smoldering. Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such.

Dr. King knew of what he spoke. Jesus’ way should be our way, and as Dr. King pointed out, the path to love begins with respect.
Will government or corporations or television guide you in any way other than what’s right in their own eyes? No. But we shouldn’t expect them to. When we do, we just look silly as Kurt Vonnegut observed,

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, the demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course, that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. “Blessed are the merciful” in a courtroom? “Blessed are the peacemakers” in the Pentagon? Give me a break!”

Jesus never seemed to expect Caesars or Institutions to be role models or follow his way at all. That was the job of each individual disciple, or as those who lived in the communities of the early church were known, “The Followers of The Way.”

As I watched and listened to the Presidential Debates, I heard the arguments through my years as a pastor. To me, Clinton and Trump sounded, looked, and acted less like Presidential Candidates and more like a married couple in the midst of a contemptuous divorce. Regardless of your politics, this election season offers an opportunity like no other to learn about how we relate to one another whether spouse to spouse, parent to child, or one political leader to another.

At the next debate, instead of trying to decide, “Whose winning?”, I encourage you to use the following list from Dr. John Gottman, scientist and therapist, as a scorecard.  Gottman offers a practical guide to listening to language and observing nonverbal communication that he calls, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Gottman chose this striking image of The Four Horsemen because, like in the book of Revelation, one follows right after the other. If you learn to see these behaviors in not just presidential candidates but in yourself and others, then we all can win. Here they are:

Horseman 1: Criticism. A complaint focuses on a particular action while a criticism is broader and passes judgement on the other person’s character or personality using the action as evidence for the conclusion drawn. For example, “I’m really angry that you didn’t sweep the kitchen floor last night. We agreed that we’d take turns doing it,” is a complaint and addresses a specific behavior. “Why are you so forgetful? I hate having to always sweep the kitchen floor when it’s your turn. You just don’t care,” is a criticism. Criticism throws in blame and engages in character assassination. To turn a complaint into a criticism simply shift from what you want to what’s wrong with the person. Here is another example:
Complaint: “There’s no gas in the car. You said you would fill it up. Will you take care of it?”
Criticism: “Why can’t you ever remember anything? I told you a thousand times to fill up the tank, and you didn’t. You are so irresponsible.”
Criticism often gets historical, not hysterical, though that can happen, but the past enters the present as an endless list of examples of the persons flawed nature.
Criticism, focusing on the character of the person, the past as well as the present, and not addressing specific wants and needs, is a common bad habit in relationships. Jesus warned against it in The Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7: Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. 2 For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. For Jesus, by passing judgment on others, we pass judgment on ourselves showing our own character more than making evident the deficiencies in others. Passing judgment on a person’s actions is different than judging a persons character or soul. For Gottman, this criticism of other persons or people is common. The danger is when it becomes an accepted pattern because it paves the way for the other, far deadlier behaviors, or as he labeled them, horsemen.

Horseman 2: Contempt. Sarcasm and cynicism are types of contempt. So are name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. In whatever form, contempt — the worst of the four horsemen — is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust. It’s virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your partner is getting the message you’re disgusted with him or her. Inevitably, contempt leads to more conflict rather than to reconciliation.
The presence of contempt and perceived contempt in a relationship can manifest itself in physical symptoms. Couples who are contemptuous of each other are more likely to suffer from infectious illnesses (colds, flu, and so on) than other people. Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about the other. You’re more likely to have such thoughts if your differences are not resolved. As disagreeing persists, complaints turn into global criticisms, which produces more and more disgusted feelings and thoughts, and finally you are fed up with your spouse, a change that will affect what you say when you argue.

Horseman 3: Defensiveness. When conversations become so negative, critical, and attacking, it should come as no surprise that you will defend yourself. Although this is understandable, research shows that this approach rarely has the desired effect. The attacking spouse does not back down or apologize. This is because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. You’re saying, in effect, “The problem isn’t me, it’s you.” Defensiveness denies personal responsibility, as if a persons choices all originate from the other. “I only did that because you…” Defensiveness never defuses a conflict. Defensiveness escalates, which is why it’s so deadly.
Criticism, Contempt, and Defensiveness don’t always gallop in strict order. They function more like a relay match — handing the baton off to each other over and over again. The more defensive one becomes, the more the other attacks in response. Nothing gets resolved, thanks to the prevalence of criticism, contempt, and defensiveness. Much of these exchanges are communicated subtly (and not so subtly) through body language and sounds.

Horseman 4: Stonewalling. In relationships where criticism and contempt lead to defensiveness, which leads to more contempt and more defensiveness, eventually one partner tunes out. So enters the fourth horseman. Think of the husband who comes home from work, gets met with a barrage of criticism from his wife, and hides behind the newspaper. The less responsive he is, the more she yells. Eventually he gets up and leaves the room. Rather than confronting his wife, he disengages. By turning away from her, he is avoiding a fight, but he is also avoiding his marriage. He has become a stonewaller. During a typical conversation between two people, the listener gives all kinds of cues to the speaker that he’s paying attention. He may use eye contact, nod his head, say something like “Yeah” or “Uh-huh.” A stonewaller doesn’t give you this sort of casual feedback. He tends to look away or down without uttering a sound. He sits like an impassive stone wall. The stonewaller acts as though he couldn’t care less about what you’re saying, if he or she hears it. Stonewalling usually arrives later in the course of relationships than the other three horsemen. It takes time for the negativity created by the first three horsemen to become overwhelming enough that stonewalling becomes an understandable “out.”

Gottman’s work is very helpful. He also shows how starting with criticism of a person’s nature  , who he or she is instead of focusing on a person’s action, what Jesus called “Judging,” can lead to contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling and then to divorce, or in the case of a nation, Congress.

I hope this list helps provide a learning opportunity from this political election cycle and can liberate us all from the destructive relationship cycles we find ourselves. For more about Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” go to: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

As we get set for the first presidential debate and the election that will follow, Luke 15 gives me hope. Along with the parables of the lost sheep and lost coin, we find the story we call, “The Parable of the Prodigal Son.” We label the son who went away and squandered the family money as reckless, irresponsible, and of course, just plain bad. While the other son, the older who stayed home and worked the farm, as loyal, trustworthy, and of course, the good one. How we read the parable tells us something about ourselves, we tend to label people in polar opposite ones. One is good, and one is bad. To have ‘good’ you need ‘bad’. In the case of tonight’s debate, the tendency seems toward, ‘bad’ and ‘less bad’. In the parable, Jesus says, “There was a father with two sons.” In this parable, both sons are people you’d likely avoid unless thrust together at a family reunion. While the younger is quite prodigal (wasteful), the older is quite rude to his father and casts as much disrespect to his father as his younger brother, even though he didn’t have to travel as far away to do it. The good news is, it is The Parable of the Loving Father, also known as, God. Regardless of the outcome of the election, how harshly we judge one another, or what terrible things we do to one another, the consistent one in this story, our stories, and the world is God, the loving parent that keeps reaching out to us hoping we’ll come home, and of course, love one another as God loves us. The good news of the gospel and the hope for the world, in election years and every year.

The sermon is available on http://macland.podbean.com/

To read more about how God’s love doesn’t devalue but values us, get a free copy of The Psychology of Jesus at Macland Presbyterian or through this link on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Jesus-Practical-Living-Relationship/dp/1494399253/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Subscribe to these reflections at www.davidjonespub.com.

As my friend, Bob Britt, has his final radiation treatment in this long fight against cancer, I want to celebrate my friend today. I shared some of this in my church newsletter this month and at our fundraiser last Spring as we started this journey, but I think it’s a message to put in print and to share with others. You don’t have to be a guitar player to understand this way of life, faith, and love that I see in this man.

I was reminded about how I experience Bob as he posted this cover photo on Facebook.

At first look, it may not seem so impressive, but if you know the man, you get the picture.

To understand the man, this message, and your own way in the world, consider your own thumb and fingers and how your hand works.

Fingers can touch many things, even grasp quite well. What the fingers of your hand lack the ability to do is to touch one another. The tip of your index finger cannot touch the tip of your pinky directly, at least not the ones on your same hand. Thumbs, however, are unique among the digits of your hand in that the thumb is capable of touching each finger directly.

In this life, you will encounter people who are like fingers, they can be touched, they can grasp and grab, but are unable and unskilled at touching others directly. They are close to others but unable to make direct contact no matter how they reach and stretch. In life, you also encounter people who are like thumbs, they touch others with ease. They can grasp and grab like others, though it doesn’t come as natural to them. What does come natural is intimate contact and support. They are designed for and have developed skill in touching others and enabling each to reach his or her designed purpose and potential.

Thumbs also play a crucial role for guitar players. For most of us who pluck at a guitar, our thumbs never press a string. Thumbs do not press strings directly, so at first, the essential role a thumb plays may go unnoticed. If you pay attention, even look closely at the picture of Bob’s thumb and guitar, you see how, without the supportive effort of the thumb, the fingers would never have the strength alone to press the strings and make music possible.

My friend Bob is a thumb. As a guitar player, he is able to step into any group of musicians and see what not only the band needs as a group and as individual artists, he can even see what the song needs and offer it. He makes music as well as life better for others. Bob has touched lives directly and personally made so many people, musicians, artists, and just regular Joes and Janes like Carrie and me experience life in a way much fuller than we would have without him. That’s what thumbs do.

So, Bob’s thumb is a great image for him as well as an example for us. Be a thumb. Touch another life. Make music possible.

JOY!

David

p.s.. Here is a video of Bob playing with many different people that gives some great images to what thumbs do. Notice how many folks Bob makes better. That’s what skilled musicians do. It’s also what friends do for one another.

I just got off the phone with my good friend, Jeffrey Perkins. We were celebrating that our friend, Bob Britt, is about to finish his last radiation treatment in this long journey of kicking cancer. Here are the two of us at the fundraiser for the Britts at 3rd and Lindsley. That picture was the day after my interview when I interviewed with Macland. I shaved my head because, simply put, I didn’t know what else to do for my friend.

The contrast in hair style’s is significant. I was going for Yul Brenner and Jeffrey is a constant Johnny Bravo. The Jones family thinks so much of Jeffrey and Angie, Nate  went as Jeffrey for Halloween a few years ago. (I tried to dress up like Angie but couldn’t pull it off.)

 
Sunday’s sermon this week in on John 6, the famous feeding of the 5,000. In John’s version, it is the little boy who gives up his lunch. In the other gospels, the donor is anonymous. I like John’s version because the kid leaves me with a personal question, “How have I helped out somebody today?”
A great song to go with this text for those preparing for worship with me on Sunday or for those who just need a good spiritual uplift is Paul Thorn’s, “What Have You Done to Lift Somebody Up?” That’s Jeffrey on the drums. He’s a little like Jesus in this video. You can’t see him, but just believe me when I tell you that he’s there.

Go lift somebody up…

Matthew 18: At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 He called a child, whom he put among them, 3 and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

When I forget the distinct personality, the particular possibility and potential each person has, my children remind me, like when my son, Nathan, showed me the possibilities of a trashcan when seen through his eyes.
If I were with you right now, I’d show you a plastic trashcan. Since I’m not with you, find a trashcan or imagine one. It has a function. It was built for that function in a factory. Some factory produces thousands of identical trash cans intelligently designed for one purpose. I usually saw the one in my office as a trashcan and only a trashcan, until Nathan taught me otherwise. For Nathan, the trashcan wasn’t a receptacle and only a receptacle, a container for the unwanted refuse, for with his imagination, there were a thousand possibilities.  It became a stool, a storage container, a hurdle, a hat, a drum, and of course, a paper wad basketball goal. The factory in it’s void of intelligence saw it for one productive purpose and no more. Because Nathan is alive, he can envision, name, and make more than trash cans, he can make possibilities. He is possibility and possibility in a unique and distinctive way that is his and his alone.
To be a product is to be uniform, to be alive is to be unique. Look at any child, they are not a factory model. No child was made like a watch, car, or airplane. Life produces life.
And people who don’t think they are machines, celebrate the differences instead of trying to fix others.
Learning that we are distinct persons is the requirement for living in relationship. You can’t celebrate another person until you celebrate your own personhood. Personhood is required for relationship, as Rabbi Heshcel counseled,

You can only sense a person if you are a person. Being a person depends upon being alive to the wonder and mystery that surround us, upon the realization that there is no ordinary person.

When you question your human potential, be encouraged by every trashcan you see. Each can be a waste receptacle, a storage container, a hurdle, a hat, a drum, and of course, a paper wad basketball goal. If each trashcan has so much potential, how much more is there in store for you, Beloved Child of God?

A little love
and understanding
can help to lift the burden
when life gets demanding.
Roger Blevins

Jesus was standing before 5,000 hungry people. He wanted to give them something to eat. He asked the crowd, “Who has something to share?” One little boy of the thousands stepped up and offered his lunch. Jesus and the boy both trusted God would use what they had to offer and do something miraculous. It was. The gift was more than enough.
In the Temple, people were putting in huge gifts when a poor widow stepped up and offered her last two cents. Jesus and the woman both trusted God would use what they had to offer and do something miraculous. It was. The gift was more than enough.
When Bob Britt was diagnosed with cancer, many of us who Bob has befriended throughout his personal and professional life have stepped up to do what we can hoping it will be more than enough and trusting God that it will. One of the more creative gifts has come from Roger Blevins and Mingo Fishtrap They wrote a song, shot the video, and put the music out to advertise tonight’s event and raise money for our friend. A Little Love and Understanding is a noble effort and a great motto to live by as well as music to bring joy to your heart anytime, even the challenging ones when you share what you have to offer and trust that it is enough.

When your brother needs a helping hand
Best to rolling up your sleeve and reaching on out
When the tables turn he’d be there for you
Help to see you through and there can be no doubt

A little love and understanding
can help to lift the burden when life gets demanding
A little love can help to light the way
Through the darkest night to the brightest day

To purchase the song for yourself or to share with a friend or to read the lyrics, go to: A Little Love and Understanding

Recently, Bob was diagnosed with Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma. This particular cancer is aggressive and as such, is treated aggressively. Fortunately, this particular lymphoma tends to respond well to the treatment protocol that he is undergoing and he, his family, and his doctor are optimistic for a positive outcome. His treatment plan includes six rounds of chemotherapy, four lumbar punctures, and three to four weeks of daily radiation. This will be a long process, over about 6 or 7 months.

We set our monetary goal at $30,000 to help Bob and his wife Etta pay for their daily living expenses including utility bills, gas, groceries, and other general expenses as well as their medical bills. Bob is hoping to be able to continue to work, but we know that chemotherapy can be quite tough on a person’s body (as well as mind and soul). There will soon come a time that he won’t be able to work over the next 7 months, and if so, Etta will be staying home to be with him throughout his healing process. So, with both of them taking time off of work and driving to and from Vanderbilt Hospital so often, bills will become burdensome. In fact, they will have to drive from Dickson to Vanderbilt and back daily for Bob’s radiation treatments (think about the amount of gas that will take).

We’d like to raise money to be available immediately for Bob and Etta, so we’re asking for any amount you can spare, however large or small. And, of course, prayers are ALWAYS welcome!

TO HELP OUT, Go to: https://www.gofundme.com/uaxnmps4